The Giant Squid's Substitute
by Rosamundius Malloy
Summary: It was supposed to be a normal summer, one just like any other Lily Evans had experienced in the past six years of her life. Little did she know how one chance meeting could change so much…
1. Coincidence

**Disclaimer:** I am not J.K. Rowling, no matter how much I wish to be at times. Therefore, I own nothing...absolutely nothing...

**Summary:** It was supposed to be a normal summer, one just like any other Lily Evans had experienced in the past six years of her life. Petunia would call her a "freak," and their parents would encourage them to at least be civil to one another. Little did she know how one chance meeting could change so much…

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><p><em>Coincidence...<em>

"Oh no," groaned the redheaded girl, glancing down at her watch. She quickly pocketed her change, thanked the cashier, and stuffed the large leather-bound book into her tiny purse as she rushed out of the bookshop.

Lily Evans was on what she liked to call "a tight schedule." She was supposed to be at the restaurant where her family was to dine with Petunia's fiancé, Vernon Dursley, but she had "excused" herself, and had escaped to the nearest sanctuary—a bookshop. Now, she had to get back before she got into trouble with her family—well, mainly Petunia.

She all but sprinted down the street, hastily apologizing to all the people she accidentally collided into. She wished she could apparate to the restaurant, but there were too many Muggles for her to leave unnoticed. Besides, she did not want to take the risk of unintentionally apparating on top of a person.

Lily quickly rounded the corner—she was not too far from the restaurant now—and ran straight into a very solid body. Her tiny purse—which was actually quite heavy due to the Undetectable Extension Charm she had placed on it (and all the books it held)—flew out of her hands, and she staggered slightly. She quickly regained her balance and went to retrieve her purse, but found that somebody else was already picking it up. Lily took the purse as it was handed to her, and—never taking her eyes off of her purse the whole time—thanked the (she somehow noticed) young man, hurriedly, and made to walk off. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the young man nervously run a hand through his already unruly, jet-black hair—he _ran his hand _through his already _unruly, jet-black hair…_her brain finally processed the information. She only knew one person with hair like that.

Lily glanced up to see the face of—

"Potter?" asked Lily, incredulous.

"Evans," greeted James, in a rather conversational tone.

"Wha—what are you doing here?" asked Lily, still overcome by the shock of seeing James Potter in a Muggle town.

"I could be asking the same for you," was the slightly reproachful reply.

"But I asked first," countered Lily.

"But I'm…taller," argued James.

"Well, I'm—oh," Lily sighed, frustrated at their immaturity. "Just answer the question," she ordered, sounding quite aggravated.

"Fine, fine, calm down woman!" exclaimed James, receiving a withering glare from Lily. "Sirius was at some store and told me to come find him there," he explained.

"Nice to know," Lily said, indifferently. She then looked up at James, gave him a sarcastic smile, and tried to push past him. Much to her annoyance, he blocked her path.

"Now, now, Evans, you haven't told me why you're here yet," said James, in a manner one would use when speaking to a child.

"I was never under the impression that I had to tell you," Lily replied coldly.

"Oh, but Evans, that is only fair," chastised James, in that same condescending (and horrible aggravating) voice.

Lily huffed in annoyance. It was mainly due to that fact that he was delaying her return to the restaurant, but it also had to do with the arrogant grin he wore and the condescending tone he had just used. She suddenly had the mad urge to hex that stupid smirk that was plastered on Potter's face, but restrained herself. _There are Muggles here_, she scolded herself mentally. _If you perform magic in front of them, no matter how much you want to, you'll get into trouble. _

Lily took a deep breath to calm herself down. She usually was not this temperamental and hot-headed. It was just that Petunia was going to murder her, and an unexpected meeting with James Potter (of all people!) did not help calm her nerves. That having been said, Lily cast all her dignity aside and decided to beg.

"I really have to go," she pleaded, now desperate. "If I'm not there on time, then Tuney's going to kill me." Lily quickly glanced at her watch once again. "Oh no," she muttered. "I only have five minutes left.

James, having heard her last statement with regards to how much time she had left (and realizing how desperate Lily truly was), decided not to push Lily any further. "Well then, Evans, let's walk and talk," he suggested cheerily.

Lily started to open her mouth in protest, but realizing how useless it was to argue with James Potter—and how it would only delay her further—she quickly snapped it shut and shrugged.

James, on the other hand, took it as an agreement.

"So, who's 'Tuney'?" was the first question that left James' lips as soon as the two set off.

"I thought you wanted to know why I'm here," replied Lily, walking at such a brisk pace that even James (being the very talented Quidditch player he was) had trouble keeping up.

The latter could tell that Lily was trying to avoid his previous question.

"Fine then," James said, putting his hands up in mock surrender. "What are you doing here?"

"Stupid formal dinner," was Lily's short reply. She hurried onward, walking as fast as she could in her high heels.

"What's the dinner for?" inquired James, who continued to "interrogate" Lily.

"Tuney's engagement to her walrus-like boyfriend," she muttered darkly, hoping that James did not hear her.

James nodded silently, realizing that Lily did not fancy talking about her sister and the latter's apparently "walrus-like" boyfriend.

"So— er," James continued awkwardly, "do you not like your sister much then? Or at least her boyfriend?"

Upon seeing Lily's reaction, he winced slightly. Lily had halted abruptly and had spun around to face him. Her eyes, he saw, were blazing, but the rest of her face was set in a very stoic expression.

"It's really none of your business," Lily began icily, "but if you must know, my sister is the one that dislikes me." She paused. "Now," she continued, "I would appreciate it if you questioned no further about the details of my personal life."

The two continued walking in silence. The silence, surprisingly, was not awkward, but it was more amicable than either would have expected it to be. A sense of understanding and mutual agreement hung in the air. James decided it was wise not to question Lily any longer unless he wanted to be on the receiving end of one nasty hex.

Lily was, however, at a loss of what was occurring. One moment James Potter is all cocky and arrogant, trying to interrogate her about things that she did not want to talk about; the next moment, he is silent, and almost—dare she say it—understanding. _I guess that James Potter knows his limits then. At least he has enough brain cells to know that he shouldn't bother me right now._

From force of habit, Lily glanced down at her watch again, looking at the rotating arrows on her left wrist. She had a minute—maybe two—maybe less than a minute—she really could not tell with the tiny face of the watch. If it was possible, she began walking even faster, and James started following her at a light jog.

_Man, that girl walks fast, _he thought to himself. Much to Lily's dismay (that is, if she ever found out), that only made him attracted to her even more. But then again, anything Lily did, James found attractive.

Lily stopped once more. This time, she had reached her destination. She looked up and stared at the sign, which displayed the name of the elegant restaurant that Petunia had chosen to dine at. She sighed—a lonely, depressed sigh—which caused James looked at Lily quizzically.

To the shock of both Lily and James, Lily turned to James and opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, as if she was deciding what she ought to say.

"Well, I guess you can leave now," said Lily, rather awkwardly, not knowing how she should behave. "And I'm sorry for being so cold to you earlier, I just—I just wasn't really in the mood for it," she added. She had absolutely no idea what made her say that. The words just poured right out of her mouth. She supposed she was just thinking too much about Petunia, which made her feel rather melancholy; whenever Lily Evans was sad, she would always become extremely polite, a fact that James Potter did not yet learn about the girl.

Based on the expression on James' face, he did not expect an apology either. "Er…that's fine," he mumbled slightly, running a hand through his already tousled hair.

Lily made to open the glass door, but James' voice stopped her once more.

"Hey Evans," James called, as if suddenly realized something.

Lily, regaining her usual demeanor, rolled her eyes and turned back to look at James with raised eyebrows. "What do you want, Potter?" she asked, slightly annoyed.

James grinned, glad that the previous awkwardness had gone. "Do you know where the café is?" he asked, adopting his usual, self-assured tone.

Lily rolled her eyes once again. "You do realize that we passed the café about three minutes ago, don't you?" she asked in response.

James shrugged, as if completely unashamed. "I was trying to keep up with you—you walk really fast. Plus, weren't we _supposed_ to be walking together?"

Performing her usual response to James' stupid remarks (which was, obviously, rolling her eyes) Lily replied, "I was never under the impression that we were '_supposed_ to be walking together'—as you so nicely put it."

"Ah, Evans, you wound me," James cried in mock-hurt.

Lily smirked and shook her head ay his childishness. "I aim to please." The door was half-way open now, and James was already walking away from her, leaning back casually, but still facing Lily the whole time.

"Well then Evans, I suppose I will be seeing you again—hopefully sometime in the near future," James suggested, the beginnings of a cocky grin tugging at his lips.

"I wouldn't count on that, Potter," was Lily's somber response.

James, grinning widely now, gave Lily a casual salute and sauntered off the way they had arrived. His hands slid into his pockets, and even with all the chatter and noise of a summer evening, Lily could make out the tune that only he would be humming. I mean—who else would entertain themselves by singing the Hogwarts school song?

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>I hope you enjoyed that. For some reason, I haven't been "feeling it lately" with writing fanfiction. I guess I'm on my path of "venturing out" and writing new things-things that mean more to me than Harry Potter. Not that Harry Potter isn't great and everything, but there's more to life than a seven-book series about a boy wizard and how almost all his parental-figures die. (Yes, I understand, there is more to Harry Potter than that, but I'm just saying...)

Well...I wrote this a long time ago, and just finished this today. I apologize for any typos...I tried to edit it a bit, but I can't catch everything by rereading it only once. I'm pretty sure that the updates will not be very consistent, so please don't get your hopes up if you liked this or anything...

Please, please, review. I would greatly appreciate it. And there isn't much of an excuse not to review (but then again, if you don't find this story worthy of a review, you can, by all means, do whatever you want...), because you can always criticize it, just don't criticize me as a person. Also, anonymous review are accepted, so there is not the hassle of logging in. With that being said: please review...I really would appreciate it...I understand I'm being very repetitive...but still...*smiles meekly*...Please?

Thank you!

-Delia


	2. Morning Rituals

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal summer, one just like any other Lily Evans had experienced in the past six years of her life. Petunia would call her a "freak," and their parents would encourage them to at least be civil to one another. Little did she know how one chance meeting could change so much…

Disclaimer: I own nothing…nothing at all, sadly…

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><p><em>Morning Rituals…<em>

"Lily?" called a voice.

_'Sibyl? Oh, she was so shy, and so gentle. There is something of a child about her. Her eyes opened wide in exquisite wonder when I told her what I thought of her performance, and she seemed quite unconscious of her power. I think we were both rather—'_

"Lily," the voice called again, a bit louder than before.

_ 'He would insist on calling me "My Lord," so I had to assure Sibyl that I was nothing of the kind. She said, quite simply to me, "You look more like a prince. I must call you—"'_

"LILY!" the voice shouted once more, this time sounding quite irritated.

The red-headed girl groaned audibly. She was getting to the good part too. _It was too bad the Dorian Gray had to listen to the garbage Lord Henry spewed from his mouth, _Lily thought sadly._ If he had just stayed the pure lad he was, Dorian could have been married, he would not have sold his soul to the devil, Sybil would not have committed suicide, Dorian—_

"Lily Evans, your mother has called you to come down three times already," came another voice. This was the voice of Lily's father, who was, as always, doing his wife's bidding. This time, he was given the task of removing Lily Evans from her nice little fortress upstairs, otherwise known as Lily's bedroom.

"Coming!" Lily shouted back, her eyes quickly scanning over the remainder of the page. Once finished, she snapped the book shut, leapt off her bed, and proceeded to run down the stairs, not caring about the racket she was making.

She skipped the bottom three steps, simply jumping onto the ground and landing lightly on the carpet, looking very much like a cat. She used to slide down the banisters, but her mother had caught her, and a poor, twelve-year-old Lily Evans was reprimanded for trying to have fun.

Lily entered the kitchen. Her mother was busy cooking breakfast, while her father was sitting at the table with the morning's paper held up in front of him, a cup of tea next to his right hand.

"'Morning Mum, Dad," Lily greeted, inclining her head in acknowledgement.

"'Morning Lily," her dad replied, setting down the ever interesting comic section and turning to his daughter.

Lily looked at him warily. Whenever Robert Evans stopped reading the comics section to talk to you, you knew you were one, in trouble, or two, going to end up extremely embarrassed. She hoped and prayed it was the latter. Scoldings from her father were not something she wanted to experience this early in the morning. They were not dreadfully unpleasant; however, they did make her feel dreadfully guilty.

"Your mother forgot to ask—" Lily's dad started saying, but was cut off by a pointed look directed to him from his wife. He cleared his throat and began again, "Your mother _and I_ were wondering who that lovely young man was—you know, the one we saw you with the other day."

Lily gave him a blank look. She was, quite obviously, very confused. _What 'young man'? I don't remember being with any 'young man,' and a 'lovely' one at that. Who are they talking about? And what do they mean by 'seeing me' with this person? I don't remember being with anybody at all. I—_

Once again, her thoughts were cut off by her father's voice. Apparently, he had seen her blank look. "Don't you remember?" he asked, a bit cautiously. "We saw you out the window of the restaurant with that nice young man, and you were smiling and talking to him…" he trailed off, glancing at his daughter.

Lily still looked just as confused. "I…I don't recall ever 'being with' any 'nice young man'…" she replied, not sure of what she was saying.

Lily's mother cut in, sounding rather exasperated. "Oh, honey, he was the good-looking one," she prompted, eying her daughter.

"Good looking one?" Lily asked, her expression as blank as ever.

"Yes, the one with the messy black hair and the glasses…"

Realization dawned on Lily's face. They were talking about James Potter! Then she remembered what her father had called him. "Lovely young man," was it? She promptly burst out into a fit of laughter.

Robert and Amelia shared a look and, for the umpteenth time, gave their daughter a cautious glance as the poor girl doubled over, clutching her stomach and the kitchen counter. She was beginning to look a bit unbalanced. _Really, what had gotten into her?_

Lily "resurfaced," and pretended to wipe tears of laughter from her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, pausing as a few more bouts of laughter escaped her mouth. "You just called _James Potter_ a 'lovely young man' and a 'good-looking' boy...it's just…too…funny…" The poor, "unbalanced" collapsed again, snickering loudly. It was quite clear that Lily Evans was a bit…well…"slap happy" in the mornings, or, at least, when she was sleep deprived, which she was now.

"How is that funny?" Lily's mother asked, giving her daughter yet another confused look. Robert Evans had already abandoned the ordeal, and turned back to read his comics with a hint of a knowing smile gracing his lips.

"I would hardly call James Potter 'lovely,' or 'good looking,'" Lily replied, finally regaining her composure. She walked towards the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk. She poured herself a glass.

"Why is that dear?" Amelia asked her daughter. "You two seemed quite friendly with each other; he seemed to like you a good deal," at that, Lily snorted (her mother failed to notice this). "I actually thought you two were dating."

A spray of milk suddenly came from nowhere. Well, not exactly from 'nowhere.' Lily, who, at the time, was in the processes of downing a glass of milk, immediately spluttered indignantly, causing the milk (which she had not yet swallowed) to spray all over the kitchen counter.

"Excuse me?" was all Lily could say, still recovering from the "shock" she just experienced. She hastily wiped her upper lip with the back of her hand, and gawked at her mother in disbelief.

Amelia looked at her daughter oddly. _Oh, why couldn't the girl be calm and collected like Petunia? _she thought wearily. Amelia Evans seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, looking at her youngest daughter as one would a high-functioning sociopath. _What could possibly be so bad about his Potter boy?_

She voiced the latter thought out loud. This time, she was not shocked to see her daughter looking positively scandalized.

"_What could possibly be so bad about James Potter?_" Lily repeated, aghast. "He's—he's…" She looked around desperately for a word that was not too profane to say in front of her own parents. She began waving her arms around dramatically as well, but to no avail.

"There's no way James can be _that_ bad," reassured her mother, taking Lily's loss of words to mean that the latter did not dislike James Potter.

"Oh trust me," Lily muttered darkly under her breath. "He can be." Thankfully, neither parent had heard her.

Her mother smiled at her absently, but consented to not question the girl any further.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily could see her father struggling not to laugh. Turning away from the toaster, she glared at him. He only smiled wider. She frowned, and a few minutes later, went to sit beside him, munching on a piece of buttered bread.

Just as she had made herself comfortable, Lily heard the clickity-clack of stiletto heels that could only belong to one person—Petunia Evans.

...

Lily looked up and smiled sweetly at her sister; she was now nibbling on her second piece of toast, while she jabbed her fork at a piece of bacon.

Petunia wrinkled her nose in distaste. Lily knew her sister did not approve of her dietary habits. But then again, not everybody could be skin-and-bones like Petunia. It was a "rare gift," as Lily liked to put it.

Petunia sauntered over to the pantry door to pull out a box of cereal, and placed it next to her pink, plastic bowl. She prepared her meal quickly, dumping both milk and cereal into one bowl, and pulling out a cup of yogurt. She then walked snootily to the kitchen counter, and situated herself on one of the stools.

"Good morning to you too, Petunia," grinned Lily, as her sister completed her daily morning ritual. The former was already finishing off the last of her bacon, and was beginning the actions of wiping her mouth with a napkin.

Petunia merely made a "humph!" sound and turned away, her nose in the air.

"You should at least say 'hello,' to your sister, Petunia," chastised their father, not even glancing up from his now crossword, already used to this routine.

"Good morning, Lily," Petunia said stiffly. She turned to her mother.

"Mum," she asked, her voice laced with so much false sweetness that Lily rolled her eyes, and even their father had to shake his head slightly.

"Yes honey?" asked Amelia.

"Could I go to the mall today? With my friends, that is. Yvonne's coming along too," Petunia explained, looking as "sweet" and as "innocent" as a nineteen-year-old girl could possibly manage.

Amelia Evans smiled kindly at her daughter. "Of course!" she agreed. She paused for a moment, deep in thought. "You can take Lily along!"

This time, both Lily _and_ Petunia spluttered.

"No! You cannot let that _freak_ come—"

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head over it, Tuney; you'd have to _kill_ me before I'd go—"

"Enough, girls," ordered their father, always the peacemaker. The two girls shot each other identical, venomous glares and crossed their arms stubbornly.

"Now, now, girls, I think it would be a nice bonding experience," explained their mother. "Plus, Lily spends too much of her time at home. You," at this, she turned to her youngest daughter, pointing a threatening finger, "should go out more often. It's summer time, have fun."

Both Lily and Petunia gave her skeptical looks.

Their mother frowned stubbornly. "It's a great idea—isn't it Rob?"

Upon seeing the look on his wife's face, the still dutiful husband nodded his head hastily.

Amelia Evans smiled. "That's settled then. You two are to go to the mall together. No arguments," she added, seeing the looks on her daughters' faces.

Lily looked as though she was about to protest, but finally relented.

"Fine," sighed Lily, running a hand through her hair. "I'll go and get ready for eight hours of torture. Just let me go brush my teeth and get my purse." She pushed back her chair and dragged herself up the stairs.

Petunia scowled, placed her pink bowl in the sink, and she too bounded up the staircase, preparing herself for a day that was supposed to have been fun.

_Oh Merlin, please help me_, prayed Lily, looking at the door that had just closed behind her sister.

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><p>Author's Note: Hehe…I was thinking about completely discontinuing this story, but suddenly, I found my err... "muse," and decided to keep on writing. It's not that great, but hey—we don't write fanfiction for money. If we did, we'd get into a heck of a lot of legal trouble. So, here is my update, after about what—two months? I apologize if you wished I had updated sooner…<p>

I already know what the next chapter will be like, but knowing and doing are, of course, two very different things.

I hope that you enjoyed it. It was…entertaining…writing it…

Please, please, please read and review. I'd really appreciate it. I believe that the more reviews I get, the faster I'll update…I hope that's a good incentive….But I can completely understand if you don't like this fanfic….

Thank you for reading this far!

-Delia


	3. Boring Misery

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal summer, one just like any other Lily Evans had experienced in the past six years of her life. Petunia would call her a "freak," and their parents would encourage them to at least be civil to one another. Little did she know how one chance meeting could change so much…

Disclaimer: I own nothing…nothing at all, sadly…

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><p><em>Boring Misery…<em>

Lily sat stubbornly in the back seat, her arms and legs crossed. Her face was set in a prominent scowl, which was quite a severe look for such a young lady.

"Get out of the car," snapped Petunia from her seat at the steering wheel.

"Why should I?" smirked Lily, feigning ignorance, though secretly reveling in her sister's annoyance.

"Because I don't want to get into trouble with Mum," sniffed Petunia.

Lily snorted. If Petunia did not want to get into trouble with Mum, she would not have—never mind, it was not her story to tell.

"_Mum_ doesn't have to find out," responded Lily, leaning back casually. "I can just hang around here or something."

"Just listen to yourself," scoffed Petunia. "How _exactly_ are you going to survive in a car—_in the middle of the summer_—for eight hours?"

"So you really are going shopping for eight hours," exclaimed Lily. "How do you even survive, doing that?"

Petunia rolled her eyes at her sister's childishness. _Not everybody appreciates the art of fashion._ "If you can survive, I'll let you stay in the car. But if you die, I'm not going to be held responsible."

Lily held up her wand, and twirled it in her fingers, right in Petunia's face. "Witch," she replied, as though that one word explained everything. (Which, in her case, it did.)

Upon seeing the once-deemed "stupid wooden stick," Petunia's eyes widened in terror. "Get that _fr-freak _thing out of my face right now!" she spluttered furiously.

"Why of course, your majesty," said Lily, with a mocking wave of her hand. She retracted her wand and stuffed it back into her pocket.

"Just get out of the car," Petunia snapped again, the two having to the original reason for their current argument. Her already little patience was obviously waning.

"Fine," conceded Lily. She sighed heavily, and climbed out of the car. Petunia followed suit. _She really should change the color,_ Lily noted, as she turned back to face the vehicle. _The pink really hurts my eyes right now._ Without another word, she slammed the door behind her.

"DON'T SLAM MY DOORS," shrieked Petunia, glaring at Lily's retreating figure.

"SORRY, FORCE OF HABIT," Lily called back, smirking slightly. It was true though; their father often reminded her that slamming car doors was illegal in Switzerland. Lily was glad that she didn't live there, _even though it was always a neutral country_, she thought absent-mindedly. She stuffed her hands in her pockets, her purse swinging around one of her wrists, and walked casually to the double doors—or multiple double doors, rather—that led to the mall. She sighed once more. _It was going to be a long day…_

….

"And how may I help you today, miss?" wheezed the short, wispy-haired man in front of her.

"I'd like to purchase a book," Lily replied, holding a medium-sized paper-backed novel in front of her.

"Very well then." The old man took the offered book, and scanned it. He announced the cost, and Lily rifled through her small purse, looking for the money her mother had given her only hours before. She finally found it.

"Here," she said, handing the cashier her payment.

After a few moments, the book, now in a plastic bag; the receipt; and her change was handed back to her.

She gave the old man her thanks, and he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

As Lily walked out of the bookshop, she could hear the faint sound of someone calling "next," from behind the threshold.

She picked up the book she had just bought, and opened it to the first page.

_One may as well begin with Helen's letters to her sister, _she read silently, still walking through the crowded halls of the shopping complex. She was actually quite gifted at multi-tasking in such a way, for much of her practice came from walking around her house and dodging Petunia, along with the lethal numbers of cosmetic devices that girl carried around with her. Lily Evans had yet to run into somebody whist reading and walking, and she hoped she would not be breaking her streak sometime soon. Her skills at walking but not reading were a completely different matter.

_It isn't going to be what we expected. It is old and little, and altogether delightful—red brick. We can scarcely pack in as it is, and the dear knows what will happen when Paul (younger son) arrives tomorrow. From hall you go right or left into dining-room or drawing-room. Hall itself is practically a room. You open another door in it, and there are the stairs going up in a sort of tunnel to the first-floor. Three bed-rooms in a row there, and three attics in a row above. That isn't all the house really, but it's all that one notices—nine windows as you look up from the front garden. _

_ Then there's a very big—_

BAM! Lily was jolted back into reality, away from the town of E.M. Forester's novel, _Howard's End_. She had, in the course of three days, once again collided with a person after turning a corner. Her book had slammed quite forcefully into the poor victim's chest (she had assumed that he was male because of his height), and flew away from her. Lily, instead, stumbled back, quickly regaining her balance (which apparently, was one of the numerous gifts she possessed.) She cursed under her breath, partly at herself for running into an unsuspecting civilian, and partly to the person she knocked into for breaking her perfect collision-free streak.

She absently noted that this person felt oddly familiar, but thought little of it. However, a sense of déjà vu arose when the young man she had collided into handed her a slightly wrinkled book, and she looked up into his eyes.

She almost laughed at her luck.

"Ah, Evans, fancy meeting you here," greeted James, who appeared pleasantly surprised. He looked at Lily, who was trying to flatten the cover of her book. "Never walk and read at the same time, Evans," he tutted, "it's never a good idea."

Lily scowled. "I'll have you know that you're the first person I've ran into while doing so," she replied haughtily.

"That must mean I'm special."James grinned roguishly.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, of course Potter. Just because you're the first person that had the misfortune of colliding with a multi-tasking girl means that God's gift the mankind," she drawled sarcastically.

"Oh no, Evans, you're wrong there," said Potter, with the air of somebody explaining a relatively simple concept to an apprentice. "I'm Merlin's gift to witches."

Lily shook her head at his ridiculousness and began snickering uncontrollably.

James looked at her with wide eyes. "Did…_Lily Evans_ just laugh at something I said?" he asked, somewhat cautiously.

Lily, who was still snickering madly, shook her head once more. "No," she replied. "That was just—just _terrible_," she explained (quite poorly), and burst into another silent fit of laughter.

James continued eyeing her, with what appeared to be genuine concern in his eyes.

"Lack of sleep," explained Lily, finally returning to sanity. She had now recovered completely, and was once again the nice carbon copy of Professor McGonagall she occasionally appeared to be.

"I see," said James solemnly. "And I thought it was going to be a day for the history books," he paused dramatically, gazing in the far distance with a serious look on his face, "Lily Evans laughs at something James Potter says," he finished, his arms in the air, his hands framing a nonexistent headline.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "The day I find you genuinely funny is the day I play a whole game of Quidditch." The moment the words left her mouth, she knew she had said the wrong thing.

James grinned, knowing that Lily had realized her mistake. "That can be easily arranged," was his response.

Lily rolled her eyes one more and glanced back to the young man in front of her. She surveyed him warily. "You're not stalking me or anything, are you?" she asked, cautiously.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Evans. It's not becoming," James replied, with a dismissive wave of his hands.

"Says the guy with the abnormally large ego," said Lily, clearly not amused.

"Aw, Evans, that hurt," moaned James, in exaggerated agony. "That hurt me right _here_." He clutched at his heart.

"That's probably because the spine of my book slammed right into your chest," said Lily.

"Now that was just mean, Evans," James scolded mockingly, wagging a reprimanding finger in front of Lily's nose. She eyed it with a raised eyebrow, her arms crossing over her chest. She looked back up at James in a very exasperated manner, and saw him smirking down at her. She rolled her eyes again— for the umpteenth time—and turned away, rubbing at her temples.

"Since this is—apparently—something that will be happening every other day for the next month or so, what—may I ask—are you doing here _this time?"_ Lily inquired, not impolitely, but more like an annoyed mother who has discovered her child in the back yard, covered with mud from head to toe.

"Skipping pleasantries, I see," observed James. "If you must know," began James, mimicking the now quite irritate Lily Evans, "I was invited to this—to this...what do you call it again?"

"Mall," supplied Lily, her voice devoid of emotion.

"Yes…mall…by my good mate Sirius Black to be a third wheel on his date."

Lily's eyes twinkled with mirth. "And who would have thought the day would come that _James Potter,_ of all people, would be a _third wheel_?" she teased, smirking slightly.

"Hey, no need to judge," said James defensively, holding his arms up in surrender. "I've been a third wheel plenty of times."

Lily eyed him skeptically.

"Okay," amended James, "maybe not _plenty_ of times, but more than once."

Lily smiled to herself. "And I thought it was going to be a day for the history books," Lily grinned, quoting James.

He laughed appreciatively. "No, I think that day was a few years back," he said, while stroking an imaginary goatee.

Lily chuckled lightly. James grinned again.

_He has a nice smile, _Lily noted absently. _He has a nice laugh too. It must be what other people call and 'infectious laugh'…_

James' next question pulled Lily out of her thoughts.

"Now, Lily Evans, why would a girl so obviously against shopping—such as yourself—be at a mall?" inquired James, in the manner of a television show anchor interviewing a celebrity.

Lily smiled softy and shook her head at James' dramatic antics. "Funny story, actually," replied Lily.

"How's it 'funny'?" asked James, obviously confused.

"Well, it's not 'conventionally funny,' but it's somewhat ironic." Lily paused. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she demanded. James, who had just had the oddest expression on his face, grinned sheepishly.

"Only you would use 'conventionally' in everyday conversation," he snickered.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked hotly.

"Nothing, nothing," James said hastily, once again holding up his hands in mock-surrender. "You're like Remus. You both have such large vocabularies."

"Says the guy who just said 'everyday conversation,'" Lily pointed out, raising an eyebrow at James.

James scowled and pouted like a five-year-old, which only made Lily laugh even more. _He would have been a cute five-year-old…_her traitorous brain thought, while dozing off…She immediately snapped back to her senses.

"Petunia wanted to go shopping with her friends, so Mum made me tag along for some quality 'sister-bonding' time," Lily quickly explained, with heavy sarcasm in her voice. "But obviously, her plan failed because I am not even within a ten feet radius of my dear sister," she finished.

"That's a pity," said James, somewhat absent-mindedly.

Lily looked at him weirdly. _It was a pity…how?_ She continued glancing at him cautiously, just as her mother had done to her only hours before, and wondered what he was thinking about. Not that she wanted to know the ins and outs of James Potter's mind, of course. It was just—he looked as though he was actually thinking about something, and frankly, it was scaring her. He looked as though he was devising—no, _concocting—a plan. _James Potter and thinking never ended well with her involved.

Suddenly, James' eyes lit up as though he had an epiphany. "What do you say to showing me around this loving Muggle mall while your sister's shopping with her friends?"

Lily blinked, slightly off-put by his request. "Excuse me?" she asked, not thinking she had heard correctly.

"How would you feel about giving James Potter a grand tour of a Muggle mall?" he asked, grinning childishly.

"And what would possibly posses me to do that?" retorted Lily, sounding rather skeptical.

"It'll only be for a little bit. Then you can go do whatever you like to do, which—" he glanced down at Lily's wrinkled copy of _Howard's End_—"apparently, is reading books."

Lily narrowed her eyes slightly, a pensive look on her face. "Sure…" she agreed, not exactly sure what she was even agreeing to. "I'll show you around." She paused, and raised a threatening finger at an ecstatic-looking James. "However, you better not get me kicked out of this mall with your little 'Marauder antics'—do you hear?" she threatened.

James only grinned wider. "Oh, Evans, you know me so well." He smirked, and ran a hand through his hair.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest again.

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it Evans," called Potter, already walking into the direction of another store. "I just won't get you kicked out of too many _stores_," he finished, grinning madly.

"Potter!" Lily seethed. "Don't make me regret this!" She huffed, and hurried after the new "tourist-of-sorts." She really hoped that she would not regret this. _Oh, what did I just agree to?_

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><p>Author's Note: Hehe…another fast update. The title of this chapter is a bit of an oxymoron. By the way, the book Lily bought in the first chapter was "Gone with the Wind." It's the only book I know that's the size of a freaking dictionary. (By the way, Paulette Goddard should have been Scarlett O'Hara. Just kidding…it's a Charlie Chaplin thing…)<p>

Anyway, the book she was reading in the second chapter (the previous one) was "The Picture of Dorian Gray," if you haven't read it before. Obviously, "Howard's End" makes an appearance in this chapter. I actually just brought my own copy of "Howard's End" over Christmas…but I don't feel like reading it in public for fear I'd never hear the end of it…depending on who reads that statement, you might not understand it.

Anyway, I had trouble (and I obvious still do) with the flow of dialogue and such in this chapter. Oh well, it was the best I could do at the time. Maybe I'd go and edit this chapter later, if I feel like it.

I hope you enjoyed reading it more than I enjoyed writing it. Please review!

As always, thank you if you have read this far. It must have taken a great effort. I think this is the longest chapter yet.

Thanks again!

-Delia


	4. Incredulous Skepticism

Summary: It was supposed to be a normal summer, one just like any other Lily Evans had experienced in the past six years of her life. Petunia would call her a "freak," and their parents would encourage them to at least be civil to one another. Little did she know how one chance meeting could change so much…

Disclaimer: I own nothing…nothing at all, sadly…I wish I did though…that would be nice….

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><p><em>Incredulous Skepticism <em>

"I can't believe you just did that," scolded Lily, trying—and failing miserable—to stop the laughter bubbling up inside her.

"Oh Evans, you must remember to never underestimate me," assured James, eliciting a small snort from Lily.

"Of course," Lily agreed with a solemn nod of the head. "One must never underestimate the 'great and honorable James Potter' and must never predict what he might do if encountered by a perfume shop, of all things," she finished, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

James grinned. _Ah…the old Evans is back again._ "See Evans, you're learning so quickly already. You, of all people, must know that when I, the—what was it you called me again? Oh, yes—when I, 'the great and honorable James Potter,' walks into a perfume shop, all hell breaks loose." He jutted his chin out and puffed his chest pompously. Lily snorted once more and rolled her eyes. The two continued walking.

"I like the sound of that, by the way," James added, smirking slightly.

"The sound of what?" asked a confused Lily, who was not quite paying attention to James, as she was trying to locate where they were. "All hell breaks loose?" she asked, unsure.

"No, no," James replied, with a dismissive wave of the hand, "the great and honorable James Potter." His smirk had grown larger now.

"Oh...that." Lily nodded with mock-understanding, and suppressed the massive urge to roll her eyes. (She had been doing a lot of that lately.) "I apologize for not coming up with something better. It was the first ridiculous title that I could make up off the top of my head," she said remorsefully, with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Classic Lily Evans," James stated, smiling. "She always knows how to ruin my good mood." He pretended to be hurt. Lily, who happened to hear his not-so-quiet side-comment, rolled her eyes once more.

After a moment's pause, Lily spoke once more.

"I still can't believe you did that," she said again.

"And I still stand by what I originally said: 'you must never underestimate me,'" James replied, wearing the same mischievous grin on his face that practically _oozed_ "James Potter."

"Oh, I wasn't underestimating you, Potter," explained Lily. "I was just hoping that you wouldn't do something drastic, so I ended up fooling myself." She smiled a crooked smile, and glanced up at James, who was still wearing the same infamous Potter grin on his face.

"Evans, it wasn't that bad," he insisted. "You can't deny that had fun," he added, nudging Lily in the arm a bit for emphasis.

"Well…okay," agreed Lily, albeit a bit reluctantly. "It wasn't _boring, _per se, but I normally don't expect to be doused with perfume the moment I walk into a store. I mean, really, I smell worse than a dung bomb!" she exclaimed.

"Aw, Evans, don't say that about yourself. You smell…what did it say on that bottle again? You smell like untainted temptation," he finished, a large grin on his face. Lily clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

_See, she's laughing again already, _thought James happily. _I'll have her playing a whole game of Quidditch in no time. _He smiled, contented.

Lily sighed. "Merlin, I don't even remember…which bottle was that again? Was it the first one that you 'accidentally' sprayed on me, or was it the one that you spilled all over the shop floor?" Lily asked, snickering slightly at the memory.

"No…" James paused, thinking. "I believe it was the one that I dumped into your neck." James smiled fondly, remembering Lily's reaction. Needless to say, she was not pleased.

Lily glared at him, remembering the ordeal as well. She did not particularly enjoy the sensation of any sort of liquid being poured down her neck. That would explain the fact that she was no big fan of disillusionment charms.

"That's nice to know," she muttered.

"Come on Evans, lighten up," encouraged James. He stopped walking and turned to face Lily. "At least I fulfilled one of your requests so far," he observed brightly.

"Oh?" Lily raised an eyebrow, curious. "And what was that?" she asked skeptically.

"I didn't get us kicked out of any shops," James replied, wearing what could only be described as a "shit-eating grin." "Yet…" he added as an afterthought.

Lily gave him incredulous look, and failed to hear the second part of his statement.

"Then what do you call that perfume shop manager running around, holding a ball point pen as thought it were a lethal weapon?" Lily asked, wondering what sort of answer James was going to give.

"That?" James scoffed with an all-knowing air. "Oh, she never got around to kicking us out. Sure, she was about to, but we ran out before anything _drastic _could happen," he finished with a solemn nod.

"It's nice to know you're so careful not to break any rules," observed Lily, a smile playing on her lips.

"What can I say?" asked James rhetorically, throwing an arm around Lily's shoulders. "Never underestimate the great and honorable James Potter."

Lily only nodded absently. Feeling a strange, warm pressure around her shoulders, she unconsciously moved closer towards James. It felt as though gravity was pulling her head down to James' should—_wait._ It was James' arm that was embracing her, which—as much as she hated to admit it—felt rather _nice_, and—_oh my god_. She promptly went into a slight state of panic, and hastily tried to remove James' arm from around her. Alas, it was to no avail.

"Please move your arm, Potter," Lily asked politely, grabbing James' wrist in another attempt to remove his arm from around her shoulders.

"What?" asked James, feigning innocence.

"Would you mind finding something else to use as an arm rest next time?" Lily asked, smiling hopefully. "You are invading my personal space."

"But you love it," replied James, pulling Lily even closer to him. Her head was, once again, in danger of resting upon James' shoulder. She pushed herself away lightly, ignoring the strange feeling in her stomach.

"Of course, Potter," she replied. "I just love having little to no breathing room," she muttered sarcastically.

"See," James started, gleefully, smiling fondly at the top of Lily's head, "you even admitted it yourself." At this, Lily rolled her eyes once more and sighed.

"Potter, please," she asked, in a half pleading, half threatening voice, giving James the most intimidating glare she could manage.

"Fine," James consented, sighing, and slowly withdrew his arm from its original position.

The two wandered aimlessly around the mall, all the while James giving off the air of a wounded puppy. After five minutes of silent trudging, Lily had enough. _James Potter always knows how to be so mature, _she thought sarcastically.

"So…where do you want me to drag you off to next?" Lily inquired, looking up at James, who was humming quietly to himself, his hands in his pockets.

He looked up, slightly startled, and thought about Lily's question. "Well…now that you mentioned it, what do you think about ice cream?"

"Ice cream?" Lily asked, slightly dumbfounded. _He goes all the way to a Muggle mall, and he starts having cravings for ice cream? What's wrong with getting ice cream in Diagon Alley or something?…I bet they have more flavors, anyway…._

James gave Lily a look. "Yeah, ice cream—you know, that yummy cold, frozen stuff—"

"I know what ice cream is, Potter," Lily interrupted quickly. "I might say and do plenty of not-smart-things," she added, "but I'm not _that _thick."

"Oh, I never said you were," James amended hastily. "You just looked like you were having a lapse in brain activity or something."

Lily snort. "Nice, Potter—thanks. I'm glad you have so much faith in my mental prowess." She nodded, smiling grimly.

"Don't worry Lily," James assured, "you're a very intelligent—but slightly sadistic—witch." Lily laughed good naturedly at this. "If you weren't," James continued, "why would old Sluggy have a crush on you?"

He earned a slap in the shoulder for that.

"Ow…that hurt…" James complained, rubbing the "injured" joint and testing to see if it still functioned properly.

"Feel the wrath of paper-back novels, Potter," was Lily's only attempt at consolation, which earned her a small chuckle from James.

"See what I said? She's sadistic," stage-whispered James to a nonexistent audience, which elicited yet another eye roll from Lily.

He suddenly clapped his hands together. "So," James began briskly, "how about that ice cream?"

Lily sighed, as though considering it. "Well, as your unofficial tour guide," Lily began slowly, tapping her chin thoughtfully, "I suppose I'm obligated to show you where one can find such a delicious, frozen treat," she finished with exaggerated formality.

"Then by all means, lead the way."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Well...I'm not dead, so that's good...I just haven't updated in...what was it, three months? So yeah, I haven't abandoned this story, I've just been having some nice little writer's block issues, but that's a terrible excuse, isn't it? Nah, I've been having this identity-crisis thing, and a huge fangirling period, which lead to me drawing a lot of Makorra fanart, or just Legend of Korra fanart in general...and some Sherlock...and some Doctor Who, even though I've only watched four episodes of the season with the Ninth Doctor...

I hope this chapters okay. I was seriously considering abandoning fanfiction in general, but just recently, I've gotten some very motivating reviews, so thank you, to all those that reviewed this story, and my fanfic for "Olive's Ocean."

Wow, this is turning out to be a rather long author's note isn't it? Well...please, let me know if you think the charactarization of Lily and/or James has changed, but please, no flames. I think my view of the characters may have changed with the increasing bitterness I put on over the years...so...please, tell me what you think. I actually intended this chapter to be longer, but I decided to upload what I had. So...yeah...enough of rambling, then, I guess. But please, read and review, if you have even bothered to read this far. And sadly, there is no new book featured in this chapter. I think I'll have one next chapter, or I'll edit this chapter to make it longer.

I think I actually might end up finishing this thing...that's a first, isn't it?

Thanks again for reading, and I would really appreciate it if you reviewed. :)

And sorry if there are any typos-I promise I'll fix them later when I get the chance.

-Delia


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